Confession

I have to confess something. This is really hard for me to admit. Like, really hard. But here’s the thing… I’ve been really stressed out. These Tiny Humans are SO loud and they take up SO MUCH of my mom’s time. And… I only have so much patience.

So, one day last week I may have chewed up one of their toys on purpose. I thought it would send a message, “Hey! Hello! I’m still here! Leave them in the jumpy thing and pay attention to me.” Ya wanna know what it accomplished? Big fat nothing. So, I decided to step it up. The next day I chewed another one of their toys. Then the next day another one. STILL nothing! I got attention for a few minutes where I was informed I was a “bad boy” and told not to do that again. Okay? Sure. Well, um… that negative attention was still attention so I thought maybe I could step it up even more.

I’m really embarrassed to tell you this, but I faked a limp.

Yes, you read that correctly. I, Dunkin Rushford, faked a limp to get attention. The problem with my fake limp, though, is I forgot to be consistent. Always be consistent if you’re going to fake a limp, FYI. I came into the house limping (from being outside going potty) and mom got really freaked out and was worried, petting me, talking out loud about taking me to the vet (do I like the vet, no. Do I like the attention I get at the vet? Yes.) So, I decided to act reeeeally sad and hold my paw up to further emphasize my “pain.” Now mom was a bit of a mess (guess she does care?), but had to go to work. While she was gone I figured I could act normal (dad and the tiny humans were home), then start back up again once she got home. She walked back in the door and my “paw started hurting again.” She pet me and hugged me and gave me tons of attention! It was great! Until she asked Dad if I limped while she was gone and my ploy was found out. She was pretty annoyed, but man those hours she thought something was wrong were glorious! I love getting hugged and told I'm a good boy!

My story could have ended there with a lesson learned about reaching out honestly when I'm feeling lonely and left out, instead of grasping for negative attention. However, there was quite a twist of consequences.

Two nights ago I started feeling really genuinely bad. Like, bad bad. I was having trouble breathing and kept coughing like I was trying to get something out of my throat. Turns out, I couldn't get whatever it was up. At first, mom thought maybe I was faking (given my recent history) but then started to panic. That night she literally slept in my doggy bed with me and pet me until I calmed down and was able to breathe regularly and go to sleep. News alert- guess she does care a lot. I couldn't eat and was feeling really low energy. I didn't even bark at the mail man- I just didn't have it in me. My humans took me to the vet right away (I felt so icky I wasn't even thrilled about the attention) and found out I have pneumonia. I guess I was trying to cough up one of the Tiny Human toys, aspirated, and fluid go into my lungs.

Who knew I could have an actual consequence to my rebellion???????

So, anyways… the vet gave me medicine to heal my infection and I'm taking it easy. No frolicking through the yard or bark jumping at the window to warn the Fedex man this is my house. While I'm taking it easy and letting my body heal, I'm going to do some hard thinking about my choices and the consequences. In the future, I'll join my family in the living room if I'm feeling lonely rather than stealing a toy and chewing it up out of rebellion/ moping in another room to show my displeasure. I need to reach out rather than isolate.

I hope you've never felt left out and lonely, but if so, maybe today would be a good day to reach out and call a friend/family member. Go for a walk with them. Ask them how they're doing. Maybe they're feeling lonely too. Life is not meant to be lived alone. Our minds and bodies start to do not great things when we're feeling isolated. Please say a prayer for my recovery and learn from my very difficult lesson.

Oh, and please don't fake a limp. Trust me, it's not worth it.