"Nature"

Lately mom has this ridiculous idea my brother and I need to spend some time outside with her. OUTSIDE. With bugs. And leaves. And unpredictable smells. And uncontrolled temperatures. And weird sounds. Ugh.

You know what I enjoy? Air conditioning and couches. I love knowing where my water and food bowl are, I love being in a routine, I love snuggling on couches with humans, and I love knowing what to expect.

With that said, yesterday I had to spend some mandatory "outside time" with mom and Cohen. Honestly, I couldn't get a grip. I kept pacing and pacing the whole time because it wasn't part of my normal routine. I did not like it! Weirdly, Cohen seemed to enjoy himself. He took some sniffs around the deck then laid down and peacefully enjoyed the breeze. How is that possible? My mom seemed to really enjoy herself too- she was laying in a hammock cool as a cucumber reading a book. How???? I don't understand.

I'll share this picture to show you how much I enjoyed being outside:

Yes, that's me with my back to "nature," staring inside, wishing I could be on my favorite couch.

Finally, mom decided to bring me back inside. What a relief!

To be fair, I was doing better with being outside until last week. Let's just say I'm confused why people celebrate independence by setting off bomb-like-sounding-shiny-things. Whoever thought of that was out of their minds!!! It wouldn't have been so bad if it was one night, but people were setting them off all the way through Sunday. That really didn't sit well with me. It was tough because I know going potty inside the house is naughty, so I was brave and went outside, but I did not like it!!! I think that's the way our anxious brains work, though. We can work really hard to overcome some sort of trigger, then it comes back and our brains are like "hey, remember me? Fear? Let's associate it with something random and try to avoid it forever!"

As we've discussed previously, I know the only way to overcome anxiety is to push through it, not avoid it. So, today I had some outside time with

Cohen and mom. Did I love it? No. But, I was less of a mess than yesterday. Do I think I'll ever love nature as much as this guy? No, but I trust things can get better. I'll slowly spend more and more time outside and re-establish safety.