Helpin' Out a Friend

Last night a super interesting situation happened. I was the brave one. *pausing to let that sink in*. Me- Dunkin- The anxious Labradoodle was the bravest dog in my house! There was a big thunderstorm and let me tell you, my brother Cohen (9 year old Labradoodle) was a complete and utter mess. He was shaking, panting, and super clingy. It was quite refreshing. Don't get me wrong, I don't take joy in someone else's suffering, it was just really nice to not be the mess and help someone else. Have you ever experienced being the one who needs a lot of support, then all of a sudden the tables turn, and it feels super great to take care of someone else? If so, I'm sure you understand where I'm coming from.

When I've been super anxious, there are helpful things people do and also unhelpful things. Humans can mean well, but say or do things that actually make anxiety worse such as; yelling at me to stop being nervous, telling me to not think about the thing I'm nervous about, overly trying to comfort me (that reinforces my anxious behavior), and forcing me to do something too terrifying without taking small steps first. If I would have forced Cohen outside during the really bad part of the thunderstorm, it would have traumatized him further. Instead, I can support him in taking small steps to face his fear and overcome his anxiety.

But, let's be honest- I'm a dog, I don't have thumbs, and I can't open doors by myself... so I kinda have to rely on mom to work on overcoming anxiety with Cohen. My role last night was support by sitting with him and offering a steady breathing pattern he could copy. I was able to help because I felt stable. However, when my mental health is shakey, I need to have boundaries and deal with my own issues before I try to help someone else. That's not selfish, it's just common sense. I'm sure you've heard the age-old airplane breathing mask advice. If you're on an airplane and it goes into crisis, you put your breathing mask on first, then help secure others. If you're busy putting other peoples' masks on first, you'll pass out and not be able to help anyone else. The same goes for mental health symptoms. If your body and mind are misfiring, you need to get yourself stable before trying to help others.

Last night I was stable, so I was able to help. It felt great! I promise my mom did not pose this picture. Cohen literally had his paw on me for a solid half hour (I'm kinda hard to see at the bottom- but that's me)!

How are you feeling today? If you're feeling steady, is there someone else you could help? If not, what could you do to secure your "oxygen mask"?